Welcome to Anita Telle's Blog

The anti-bullying blog

4 Ways to Help Your Child Set Boundaries

4 Ways to Help Your Child Set Boundaries

Here are four (4) great ways to help your child set boundaries: Make sure your child understands that he/she is their “own person”, which means that they have their own opinion, that their body belongs to them (and no one else), and that it is okay to be YOURSELF. Make sure that you, as a parent, have healthy boundaries yourself; the child copies what it sees. Allow them to label their feelings, and understand that their feelings are important; acknowledge their opinion even if you do not agree with it. Teach your child they have a right to say NO. A child growing up with healthy boundaries knows what they will and will not do, knows what is appropriate to share and not to share, are able to respect other people’s privacy and boundaries, and they respect other people’s personal space. To help your child understand the importance of boundaries it is important for you to point out to them when he/she has crossed someone else’s boundary, and teach them how to apologize. If they overstep one of your boundaries, make sure you tell them and follow through with the consequence(s) you have set. When a child grows up with loose boundaries, they have a feeling of “There’s NO ME”. When the boundaries are so strict they feel that they are like little soldiers, and oftentimes they can have a feeling of discomfort — that they always have to be ready to protect... read more
3 Signs That Your Child is a Bully

3 Signs That Your Child is a Bully

Here are three (3) signs that your child is most likely a bully: If your child is very good friends of or “hangs out” with someone who is known to be a bully. Your child has intolerant, shows anger and sarcasm toward children who are “different” than him/her. Your child has an “exclusive” attitude, maybe a member of an exclusive club who will not play or “hang” with everyone. These are all pretty obvious “red flag’s”. However, oftentimes it is hard to notice what is really going on in our child’s life because we are so busy. No parent wants to raise a bully. One thing we CAN do as parents is… instead of focusing on (and reprimanding) a child for something they say or do that can be considered negative or bullying tendencies, we start focusing on what they are doing that IS great. Make sure you reward them when they do something kind or nice; acknowledge them for good behavior! Oftentimes, you meet the child who’s a born leader — who always wants things their way, is a little “bossy” and likes to tell other children what to do. Without breaking their spirit as leaders, we need to teach them to share in choosing games to play and to include everyone else in deciding what they are going to do. Have your child participate in activities they generally would not participate in. Let them try it out; it will open their eyes to accepting and respecting that someone enjoys and has fun doing other things than what they would normally... read more
3 Warning Signs That Your Child is Being Bullied

3 Warning Signs That Your Child is Being Bullied

There are three (3) great warning signs to look for that can alert you to the fact that your child is being bullied: Your child has bruises, cuts, and/or torn clothing. Your child is afraid to be left alone, wants to make sure you are on time for pick up at school, or tries to get out of going to school. There are change in personality; your child becomes an introvert or does not want to participate in things he/she used to love to do. The most obvious sign is, of course, when you can physically see the torn clothes and bruises; the harder thing to notice is the subtle changes in behavior. Make it a point to talk to your child about their day at school and be specific. Your child does not want to keep the fact that they are being bullied a secret; however, they do not know what to do and they are likely worried about the consequences — from either the child that bullies them or from others. They might also be really concerned about your reaction and how you could “make it even worse”. Be sensitive to their feelings, and if they don’t want to talk about it… tell them something like: “Whatever it is, we will work through it! I’m ready to listen to you and I want you to know that I love you and want you to be happy. If there is something going on at school we can talk about it, we will discuss how we should move forward... read more